Sunday, April 30, 2006

Love the Weekend

Friday I saw a bumper sticker that read, "Speak your mind even if your voice shakes." (I think I like that one even better than the one I saw a few weeks ago that read, "Voting is Sexy." Personally I can get behind the former better than the latter of these two statements - some people just don't develop sex appeal at the point of exiting a voting booth.

Yesterday I read some good words in the Psalms (I've noted a brief sample here) before spending the rest of the day connecting with one friend after another (most in person, but some on the phone).

I spent the evening with my favorite kid in town, (I have to say that now, before he has a little brother that prevents me from saying that). When I stopped singing a song about a helicopter last night to talk to him about an airplane flying by he said to me,

"Auntie, no talking. ... Helicopter"
"Do you just want me to sing about the helicopter?" I asked.
"Yes, helicopter. No talking."
So for a long while I cotinued singing to him about the helicopter we'd seen.

He did sing with me later, though, when I introduced a camp song about tropical fruit and Jesusfrom my friend Hamilton Clan's days working at Wolf Mountain. (Honestly, where do some of these lyrics come from?) I'll have to see if I can get a little video to post of him while he joyfully screams out, "Papayas!" when we sing that song next time. He's too cute! Who knew I'd ever find a way to enjoy the, "I like Bananas" song that the Hamilton Clan sang just to drive me crazy so many years ago?

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Cancer Sucks; but Life Rocks

It looks like my Dad's cancer is coming back. For the last 5 years my Dad's been receiving experimental cancer treatments which have kept his cancer in a holding pattern. Every quarter he gets tested to track the level of cancer in his body and then gets a treatment when the results are favorable.

This month he had two tests in rapid succession from one another. His numbers rose as quickly in a 10-day period as they did over the course of the last year. We're still talking about a small amount; but, the growth is picking up speed. At the same time, we're forewarned, and in a lot of ways, we really have had a good run (6+ years longer than the '2 months left' prognosis we got in 2000.) If there had to be terminal cancer, what a blessed way to experience it, really. We've had advance notice, easy tests to track it, & side effects from the drugs that put more hair on my dad's head as opposed to less.

Now that it seems like we're getting closer to the end of this holding pattern in this chapter of the cancer story, I really want to remember some of the life lessons I learned during our first cancer chapter. When my dad was first diagnosed and it was only getting worse. I learned that my dad is a spontaneous adventurer who does not like everything planned out for him. Support, for him, was not me asking him a million questions about his treatment plan as I might have liked. It was acknowledging the problem openly without letting it circumvent the original plan of living a full and happy life. What I didn't get then was that to my dad, if I stopped everything to worry about his cancer it was not only was robbing him of life, but his daughter, too. Of course, I didn't learn this without a lot of frustration and miscommunication and tears; but the point now is that I learned it (or at least grasped some of the concept).

As the daughter in this scenario, I will never stop praying for a complete healing, no matter what the doctors say. But, I also want to be the daughter who learns to support my dad in his love languages. When I was 25-26 and the Dr's were saying my dad was going to die in a matter of months it was completely overwhelming (and, although I couldn't see it at the time, my reaction was more about me than it was about him). Now, I'm 32 and I've been given the gift of time to deal with some of the possibility of loosing my parents while I'm relatively young. Of course, loosing either parent for any reason will suck no matter how much advance notice I have. But, if we have to go around the cancer bend again, I want to bless my dad by remaining full of the life and lessons he's given me. I have no doubt that I'll be supportive and engaged in the Dr. reports & prognosis side of things - that's my natural inclination. Please be praying, though, that God gives me the grace I need to be the kind of daughter who'll come home full of life and joy even if at some point cancer is trying to steal away at my dad's life again. Please pray, too, that my family gets many more opportunities to better learn how to love and understand each other.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Little Post, Big Link

For a long time now I've promised many friends that I'd start blogging. Finally it's here: an official first post with the intention to post again on a semi-regular basis. I can guarantee that my posts will be sporadic at best, at least for a while; but, like one of my favorite quotes from Monica on the old TV show Friends, "Yeah, but at least I'm doin' it!" Can you remember which episode that came from?

It seemed fitting to start now with this link to a pod cast from Eugene Peterson. Those of you who have known me for a while will remember that I have often said that Eugene is one of the guys I'd just love to adopt as a grandpa so that I could just sit at his feet and listen to him talk. He's talking here on "Why Spiritual Formation is Not an Option" (or what he more simply calls "Doing the Right Thing the Wrong Way"). This address on the difference between God's Way and just the way we're used to doing things; it seems to me to be a fitting launch for a blog of similar title. I'll make a point though to write more of my own stuff next time. In the interim though, if you have the time, check out what Eugene has to say.