Back Again

I'm back again searching with wonder and aim
Please God, don't let this be just an endless game
Not a ruse, not a lesson, not a fragmented part
Be the guide for my steps and the keeper of my heart.
Work all things together with your perfect will
So that someday soon I'll find the blessing I'm missing still.

Alone again, in search of that friend.
Why for all of my trying do results come to an end?

Part of me feels empty, another just jaded.
Will I find what I seek before all desire has faded?

The more time goes on, the more it seems
That fulfilling these dreams will never be seen.

So back again at the drawing board of contemplation,
Help me to truly ponder here without consternation
Which qualities I want, and which I require
What really matters in life and what only seems dire

Be not only my guide, but also my friend
Because, Jesus, my hopes are frayed and nearing their end.
Be my reason for being and my joy in the morning.
Be the wind in my sails and my companion in journey.

So when doubt and loneliness are back in full force
Send them scurrying off with Your thundering voice.

Meet my heart at these crossroads where disillusionment beckons and calls
Entreat me into your presence in lieu of some emotional pitfall.
Be the Lord of my life and the Lord of my heart
Who sets me aside in holiness without tearing me apart.

Transition Space

Waiting and wondering, then age slows me down
I finally move near enough to wear God's crown
His fitful young princess is beginning to see
The fully wise call in His ways for me

Still not knowing even half of His spiritual matters
He invites me to try despite all the rattles
Of my heart just emerging to make Him my home
Even here in transition-space He calls me His own

He sticks close beside me even when I run free
Unwittingly stepping away from His caring for me
He knows and still loves all my sticky, dark places
He's not even put off when my brokenness shadows over faces

He loves me in all things and conditions unpleasant
He just has more for me than the life of a peasant
His daughter, redeemed, His precious little one
If only I allow Him He makes life become
So carefree and boundless, other-focused I become
A daughter of the king with brokenness undone