Left to My Own Devices I'm a Wreck
I don't know what to hope for next
My heart grows tired, and my mind is perplexed.
Too frequently dreams and passions postponed
And now, I'm not sure which path to condone.
High-end singleness is way over rated.
It makes me feel empty and my perspective gets jaded.
Low-end humility fills me with fear:
For lack of ambition will I get stuck here?
From one extreme to the other my heart is tossed.
It feels so lonely when one's heart gets lost.
Old dreams so dear seem no longer to fit.
New dreams feel baseless and are easily pitched.
So how do I find a lasting home for my heart
with a respite of peace that won't tear me apart?
The dissonance of longing versus acceptance: so tense.
In looking for order I erect pretense.
In fear of not finding that which I long for
discontentment rises up with lament and bore.
Then critical sharpness begins to cut;
and, life falls to ruins - my own homemade rut.
So how do I refocus the eyes of my heart
on God's plan for my life to be set apart,
Living in joy; and, focused on Him;
not fitfully tossed by my every whim?
I need new perspective and posture in life
to engage with life's fullness and overlook strife.
So whenever I blame shift and dwell on what's not,
please God, open my eyes to see what I've got:
Opportunities rich, and time ready to bear
all of the things on which I choose to cast my cares.
Perspective often seems such a small little matter
but, oh, when off course, it creates so much clatter!